Frustrations
Ok, I’m frustrated. I feel like I can’t win right now. I’ve been playing a lot online. I spend about 20-30hrs online in a week. That’s an insane amount of time in front of a screen since I work 40hr weeks on a computer.. which is probably fueling my craziness right now. Despite my last post about focusing on my success in micro stakes NLHE cash games online.. I went against that and went back to MTT and SnGs online. What can I say, I was bored? There’s no big finale in cash games.. I like tournaments.
I don’t know.. sometimes I feel like I have ADD online.. I can’t focus. My focus is so good live. I love to get lost in the game and fixate on the players and the cards.. I don’t even hear anything else going on in the room.. it’s kind of weird. At home.. I watch tv, pet the cats, check emails.. search flights for upcoming travel.. what is that? But aside from my distractions. The variance is killing me. I feel like I’m making the right moves but I keep getting beat down. How long can you put up with that before you start feeling like you suck and are wasting your time and money? I’ve been reading the 2+2 forums to try to get a feel for the “normal” variance levels.. and it seems I just shouldn’t quit (which I obviously won’t- I love the game too much). But also, when I think it’s bad.. there will be times where it will be worse. I guess I feel like I just need that big tournament win to boost my confidence and bankroll back up. I guess that’s why I went back to my old friend, MTTs. I was even missing the AC players and tournaments at Bally’s and Showboat (can you imagine?). I was just missing the games I knew I could beat and had some great success.
I need to get to the casino. I’m taking the day off tomorrow to register my car and get my CA license at everyone’s favorite place: the DMV. I’m also going to see a freelance agent to see about getting out of my 9-5 grind. This is a good opportunity for me to hit up a low buy-in tournament here in LA.
I think I also should take some time away from my computer and start reading again. I have 3 poker books I’ve yet to read/finish..
Hopefully, I’ll have a good story to post about the casino tomorrow.. otherwise, I’ll be quietly reading in the corner….
Oh, AIPS Thurs. looking forward to it.
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I need to apologize for my whining. I was reviewing my stats and the stats of successful online players on:
http://www.officialpokerrankings.com/
I don’t play nearly enough to support the variance that exists online..