Ramblings of a poker player
Warning, rambling ensuing!
I never finished the WSOP posts. You can guess how it went. I lost… and lost… and lost again. It doesn’t matter what and how. One important moment was just the 2500$ 6max LHE Event, when I realized I was outclassed. The biggest soft spot I had in the 5 hours I was in, was a FTP pro. Lots of internet kids/posters I see at the nosebleed stakes all the time and whose game I respect so much playing the event, so at least it was cool to be playing in the same event as them, but otherwise I felt really blergh.
And that’s how I left Las Vegas, too. Sure, I exited the Ladies’ tourney on a kind of bad beat, but just the experience that I was just a small fish in this unkind industry that just grinds you up and spits you out like nothing.
I don’t care about the money. As soon as I got back to online, I started winning again. I grinded off a 200$ bonus at FTP and it’s so laughable that people think they can’t beat the low stakes. But it’s a grind… I wanna get those hands behind me, I wanna become that feared player, wanna play 50/100 online. Sigh, still stuck at 3/6-10/20. A lot of what Tommy Angelo said has been rummaging in my head, something to the tone of: you either don’t have the time or the money to become a professional poker player.
So jealous of those kids that found online poker when they were like 18 in 2003, I was only 6-7 years older, but in another country and had obligations already. The ramp up is always the most difficult. And then there’s that eternal: “The games are getting tougher!”. It has now taken me pretty much 2 years to get from .25/.50 to 5/T (on average stakes), so definitely doable, but I’m discouraged that it’s gonna take me AT LEAST the same amount of time to reach 30/60 and then it’s gonna be non-playing most of the time (waiting, game selecting, reviewing, watching vids, discussing). No meteoric rise here and I’m getting a bit impatient (which is stupid, I know).
I’ve done a little bit of coaching lately, I know I can grasp your style of play quickly and know at least how I would go about fixing some stuff. But I don’t have the time (there I go again)… 
So many cool ideas about poker, but can’t realize them…
I told a very good friend/colleague (not my best friend) about poker, how I wanted to play professionally. Big mistake! I think she looks at me now with a disdain (not good in a work environment). It’s amazing what non-poker players think of the game, it saddens me. Why does gambling have such a bad connotation come with it? Ok, don’t answer that one 
It’s just frustrating to talk to non-poker players about winning money at poker.
Well, at least the people closest to me, my husband, my daughter, my best friend, my mom understand me and what poker means to me.
I don’t know what to say. If you are playing above 2/4NL online or 10/20NL live or above 10/20 online or 40/80 Limit live. How did you get there? Was the journey long and grindful? Or easy peasy? When you did make the jump to pro? how? Ok, I need to actually work now (not poker).
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Comments
Hey I’ve been reading this blog for the better half of a year now and really enjoy it. This site is one of the only poker sites I am able to acces at work without the ‘net-nanny’ slapping my hand. Anyway, I can relate, as I became interested in poker within the last few years. I’ve attempted to grind online, but don’t seem to have the time. A full-time job & family at home always take priority. Consequently, I feel behind in my journey, still stuck at the .25/.50 limit game. I like to mix in some 5.50 sit-n-goes to keep it fun, though, & have recently given some thought to diving headfirst into PLO. I want to make some huge strides in my game and move up a level. Should I give PLO a chance? Or stick to limit & hope to increase my skill & bankroll enough to move up?
Bellatrix, if you really want to be a pro poker player you have to show a lot of heart. Constantly be studying, obsessed with the game, honestly it’s not worth it. Keep it as maybe a little more than a hobby but definitely less than a job and you’ll be a lot happier in the long run.
I grinded my ass off from $1/2 nlhe –> 2/5 –> 5/10. Occasionally I’ll take shots in a $10/25 nowadays. By the time I got good enough to make six figures I realized I didn’t want to do it any more.
If you really want to get better, keep on watching vids, ask the winningest players who play with the same pool as you and know your opponents what they would do in certain situations, and show some more heart. As much talent and intelligence as it takes, it takes even more mental fortitude to last in the long run.
Who cares what your colleague thinks? Poker players think in completely rational terms – if your colleague isn’t going to get it, then don’t waste your time caring what she thinks when you know you can’t do anything about it. That’s probably not what you want to hear but it’s the truth – you have to clear yourself of emotion when you are dealing with poker.
Also, learn PLO.